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Do lesbians have a concept of Top and Bottom? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by stoicmaverick@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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It's been a long ol time since I've known any lesbians well enough to ask such things, but I followed my brain down a weird line of inquiry, and got to wondering about the current state of the art for the gay gals. I guess I had always assumed it was similar to the dynamics of a gay guy relationship, but then I realized that since men have both an input and an output, they can choose, but it's mechanically a bit different for cis women. Is there any relationship between that, and the slightly more masculine versus feminine flavors? Asking for a friend, who is me. I want to know. Thanks.

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[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You might want to differentiate between Top, Bottom, Switch and Top, Bottom, Versatile, i.e. BDSM vs penetration positions.

I'd also say that this is less about physiology and more about the individual acceptance of the concept of position.

Top, Bottom, Versatile is not necessarily a queer thing, since (cis&trans) heterosex can have positions as well. That is to say, not all queer relationships regardless of gender follow the concept of position.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

It's not just a position thing. It's just that everyone exists either left or right of the center on the spectrum of 'mostly giver vs mostly receiver/passive' spectrum. The gay male community has taken to the terms of Top and Bottom to articulate ones usual preferences, and I was just curious if lesbians had come up with a similar canvas, or if it just doesn't come up as much with them as it does for guys.