this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
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Easiest way to do this: Turn the modem off after bed time (you will also lose internet)
Most expensive but still easy way to do this: Buy a "smart router" with time-based parental controls (lets you use the internet at night).
Nerd way to do this: Pihole with a script that enables and disables certain blocklists at certain times (free and open source, because fuck "smart" products)
It provides enrichment for the kids, as they figure out how to get past it.
As a nerd, I don't expect my parental control settings to work forever. They're more there to prevent childish naivete from getting them into trouble, they probably won't stop dedicated teen horniness. And I won't even be mad, figuring out how to get around them requires learning more about how technology works.
Most expensive: Buy a controlling share of Epic
The Elon Musk method: Buy some shit for no reason with only the attempt to ruin it because, idk, oligarchy or some shit.
Just a good ole lag switch
I like this one. The Internet still works after 9pm but you're reduced to 56k speeds. After 10pm it goes to 28.8k. After 11pm: 2400 baud.
That's hilarious, but I was picturing the classic ethernet cord wired to a light switch
Cheaper alternative: flash existing router with DD-WRT or OpenWRT and access advanced features for free.
A true nerd has at least one spare raspberry pi laying around. Or just an old box they can throw Linux on.
And possibly get a damn nice router for not much money.
Sent via my Xiaomi AX6S
The cheapst way is this: Don't lie to your children. Take responsibility for your choices. Talk to your children and explain why an adult needs to make responsible choices.
I agree with all of this... Might cost you some time and fights depending on how poorly you did raising the kid to this age though... But now this kid is going to go into school adamant that the game can't be played at night... You've set him up for serious ridicule because you're too lazy to parent well