this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 59 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

It reeks of toxic positivity, its associated with privileged, usually white, usually christian, suburban and boomer wives/moms who get to sit around at home all day, in a home, whilst doing nothing, who often admonish their own children for not being positive and grateful enough, and also invent tons of problems about meaningless bs, while said children have worked far harder than they have, and are more educated than them, but will likely never own a home.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Every time I see the phrase "toxic positivity" my first instinct to contest it, because my first experiences with the phrase were a misapplication (that being positive is somehow toxic,) but so far on Lemmy, I've only seen it used in ways that make sense (the toxic expectation that others will be exclusively positive.)

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I know this is a joke but my autism is on a roll:

This is an example of passive aggressive behavior, not toxic positivity.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Actually I would call that aggressive passive, because it's very upfront and aggressive, but in a not actually very aggressive way.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)
[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like how you needed to demonstrate that you know what passive aggression is.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Autism works in mysterious ways.

... That or I'm still working through an astounding amount of gaslighting from being surrounded by malignant narcissists for a very long time.

Probably both.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Actually I was just being passive aggressive at you for the bit. But it's totally understandable that you didn't notice.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

Damnit! I missed it auuuugh!

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bless your heart.

Now we see if you know southern passive aggressive.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

I can recognize it, but am not fluent enough to respond in kind.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In a lot of uh, fast food social media (Insta, Tiktok, Twitter) 'toxic positivity' is basically used anytime anyone commits a single offense of being too optimistic or endearing in a way that gives someone an instant knee jerk 'ick' or something, when they're in a bad mood and just wanted someone to also be as angry or depressed as them, in the moment.

...People who do not have narcissistic personality disorder understand that there's a bit more to it than that, namely long, established, continuous patterns in someone's behavior which indicate that this person has an enormous amount of privilege, does not realize this, to the point that they become blind to serious concerns and problems, and then those problems become worse and worse because of the toxicly positive person's nonsensical advice being detrimental and time wasting, or just vapid meaningless platitudes.

And then also, the privileged person often become overwhelmed when anyone lays out the basic facts of their reality compared to the privileged person, and then also they usually then get angry with the less privileged person for pointing this out, and now its your fault that you made me feel bad.

This can also happen at a large scale, where an entire organization or group acts like this.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fast food social media. Nice term there.

Anyways, I don't see why this has to be a matter of high privilege vs. low privilege. There's definitely a correlation, but depressed rich people and happy poor people aren't uncommon. Also, not all questions of positivity vs. negativity are in contexts that relate to privilege. It could be about the direction of a media series, for example, which is where I've heard it misused.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You know, you are correct.

You absolutely could be toxicly positive from a position of basically 0 privilege, such as maybe an ascetic who thinks that the solution to the problems of poverty is to actually embrace or accept suffering, and not do anything to change it.

We do seem to agree though that toxic positivity is a persistent attitude and mindset, at least.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Spetrals mom has an LLL sign.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

Gee how could you tell rofl.