this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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If she’s been like this before she underwent all this, then she was already treating you very badly and recent events only made it worse. I’m not any kind of doctor so I won’t throw around diagnoses, but I recognize these behaviors from other people describing what they’ve experienced from people who were emotionally and physically abusing them. I’ve also experienced some myself from being emotionally abused and neglected.
This sounds like abuse to me. You are being abused and manipulated maliciously and therapy can help you get through this. I was diagnosed with cPTSD, complex post traumatic stress disorder, which is PTSD that happens after long term trauma (especially in childhood, which is mine). Years with an abusive partner could definitely affect you this way.
You deserve a life of happiness. The sooner you get into therapy, the sooner you can get to happiness, or at least away from abuse. You are not going to change her.