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What's the trick to Menopause? (lemm.ee)

submitted 2 months ago by eric_cloudkiller@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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To prevent a recurrence of cancer, my wife's ovaries were removed and it has triggered menopause. We are in our mid 30s. It is a terrible business, with numerous symptoms like pain, discomfort, mood and attitude changes, and the like.

She is seeking treatments by her own idea, but that process has been extremely slow. In the mean time, all affection for me has completely evaporated and been replaced with anger, resentment, distance, and disrespect.

I know that she has no choice in what is happening to her, I know it is not her fault, I know she is barely able to control it, and I don't blame her for any of it. And yet, this new person living with me refuses to interact with me at all unless it's to chastise me for some perceived slight or criticize me for voicing my opinion.

I tried to express that I was feeling undesired and attacked but understood my plight was in no way similar to hers (nor as intense, serious, difficult, or important). I didn't want her to apologize because it wasn't her fault; I only wanted her to recognize that I was having feelings about what was going on.

She told me I had no right to those feelings, reminded me that what was happening was happening to her, and I should never bring it up again if I care about her at all.

So I'm seriously asking: What's the trick here? Do I just wait it out? Am I even allowed to have these feelings? Or should I just shut my big, dumb, stupid mouth? I legitimately want to know how to navigate this because I seem to only be making mistakes.

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[+] N0x0n@lemmy.ml -28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

There are already alot of good comments so I will emphasize on something that hasn't been already said.

Nature is full of wonders, It won't be a one time miracle help, however you can always use some complementary assistance from a GOOD herbalist which will advise you specific herbs in a variety of forms (tea, essential oils, infusion....) to relax and maybe reduce some symptoms over time?

I heard sage tea is very feminine and good for everything related to menopause. I'm no expert so don't take it for granted.

While it won't solve or heal your partner's health directly, it could be a good complementary to any help session. Nice and warm infusion, bath with scented EO, massage with a room filled with EO diffusion.... There's a lot you can do with natures help :)