this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2023
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That's a good piece of advice. I went from being a carefree teenager to a highly "efficient" grown-up who's always asking how I can get more by doing less. I mean, that are obviously perks in setting goals and being time and money savvy, but in the process I've lost the child in me -- the child who wonders and has multiple hobbies. I couldn't even sit down to play a game without feeling like I was wasting my life away.
So yeah, like you say, fulfilling one's responsibilities is important, but don't go crazy chasing after the next shiny thing. It's perfectly fine to want to do nothing and just enjoy ourselves sometime.
I relate to your comment so much. I’ve actually been trying to “go back” by making more time for myself. Simple things like taking naps, playing my console (instead of just watching YouTube videos about it), getting more physical activity in, etc. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully reconnect to my inner child but I’m closer than I was a few years ago that’s for sure.
I knew something was wrong when I first noticed that I was feeling anxious for wanting to do something that I enjoy, and that the anxiety has been slowly killing off all of my interests. I'm so calculative that in order to prevent wasting 2hrs of my life watching a movie I wouldn't enjoy, I'd spend hours browsing through the whole catalogue and going on IMDB to check out the rating for every single movie, then bookmark them and end up watching nothing.
The same thing for Spotify. Never happy with my choice of song. But when a good song comes up on the radio, I totally enjoy it.
I miss being spontaneous and going with the flow, and I'm working on "going back" like you too, by reminding myself to be contented and live more in the moment.
It’s pretty wild that I have the same exact tendencies. Are you (or were you) super into finances? That was my thing for a very long time. I was trying to optimize every purchase, striving for an earlier retirement, and so on. It became pretty unhealthy because for years I was planning and living for some distant future instead of enjoying the moment.
This thread is a great commentary on grind culture. I feel every word of this. As I understand it, it's in part the mindless pursuit of "success", and the suffering caused by losing a feeling of safety in the world
At the end of the day, life isn't meant to be effective, it's meant to be enjoyed as much as reasonably possible. I'm also on a journey of getting back to my inner child. Only piece of advice I can offer: if it seems a little silly as an adult, you should probably do it.Today as I left the gym, I one-foot-hopped through some hula hoops laid on the ground for the next class. I realised after it probably looked silly, but it also made my heart smile, so: worth it
Your comment put a smile on my face. "Growing up" is such a huge lie isn't it? I don't remember ever crossing a line where I suddenly become an adult and stop being the child I was being crossing the line.
I'm glad to hear it :) it really is. What's the fun in being hyper adulty if it only gets you slightly "ahead" of everyone else over an entire lifetime? Maybe the biggest hoodwink is the one we do to ourselves when we (maybe unintentionally) start focusing on the rat race instead of the little things that make life fun - and generally don't cost much haha
I am, or was, I don't know anymore. But mostly to survive rather than wanting to be rich and successful. I'm free spirited by nature but circumstances made me this way. All my loved ones, while being great in many things, totally suck in managing their finances. It's up to me to constantly watch over everything like a hawk so I won't have to keep cleaning up their mess.
I think the grind culture as mentioned in comment below applies to most people though, not just those who are really into finances. We're all driven by the fear of not being able to put food on the table, of falling sick and becoming a burden to our families.
I'm now in a pretty comfortable spot where I can just work part time and still pay off the loans comfortably. Maybe even retire a little earlier. But getting here has really taken its toll. Don't get me wrong though, I'd still do the same even if I was given a second chance; not for myself but for my loved ones. But I'll go through everything again with a different attitude, enjoy the journey more, have fewer expectations and be a little kinder to myself and others.