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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 months ago by PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

62 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] Frozyre@kbin.melroy.org 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There's a meme image I once saw that spoke to me.

It went; "Stop trying to be liked by everybody, when you don't even like everybody"

And that's so fucking true for someone such as me. You can't please everyone, so you should stop trying because there's thousands to possibly millions of people out there who simply live that spiteful and bitter lifestyle as their entire persona.

Who matters to me are the people I've personally befriended. It doesn't hurt to co-exist and be kind to those who give it to you.

But everyone else, fuck them.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yeah, people are full of shit. The way I approach this is just to try and understand if I'm the asshole (or Hanlon's razor equivalent), or they are. If it's their issue, it doesn't really bother me anymore that they don't like me, and they're just an obstacle rather than a peer.

That's just my experience though. And yeah, written out it sounds kind of harsh, but I'm going to say it's better than becoming even more of a nervous wreck than I already am.