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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 months ago by PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

62 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 months ago

I'm a 36 year old professor. My only negative evaluation this past semester was that I didn't give homework. Though, most of them hated my guts from using grades to tell them their work was mostly average.

The students realized they needed to change to improve their grades. And subsequently, they grew the way I expected, which was far more than they thought they would. They recognized I was teaching them more than the material: I was teaching them the meta. That was valuable enough to them to forgive me for being such a dick about the numbers that define their self worth.

So, want the students to give you those glowing 10/10 evaluations? Piss them off and make them glad that you did. Give them something of value that no one has. But, based off of how much you seem to care about the difference between a 95% and 100%, I think, much like my students, you are chasing your participation trophy. Think on it.