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What is the most unhelpful advice you have received? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by axolittl@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

262 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'll go first: "You have to have children when you're young," told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.

Also: Responding to "How do I deal with this problem?" questions with "Oh, don't worry about it, it's enough that you're even thinking about it!"

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[–] Yondoza@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seems to be the case for most mental ailments. It's hard for some people to grasp that other people experience life completely differently. It took me a long time and some very patient people to finally teach me that.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm glad you were open to learning, though!

I have a very progressive siblings who is very pro-mental health and all that, but she never fails to mention how "those meds are so bad for you!" Yeah. I mean.. I guess. The alternative is me being unable to care for myself. But whatever.

"Try exercising!"

Cool, I'd do that if my brain didn't confine me to my bed for 18 hours without meds.

People just. don't. get it. And they need to acknowledge that they don't. It's fine!! Just don't try to act like we're on the same level playing field. We're not!

[–] NotYourSocialWorker@feddit.nu 4 points 1 year ago

Agreed, also people need to know how literal having "poor mental health" is. The margin you have for extra load or bad things happening is so much smaller. Similar to how an unexpected bill will be shoulder shrug for someone with good economy and a disaster for someone with bad economy.

[–] Tippon@lemmy.fmhy.ml 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cool, I'd do that if my brain didn't confine me to my bed for 18 hours without meds.

Is that what that is? I'm in my 40s and trying to get diagnosed, and the possible ADHD has got worse over the last few years. I've gone through periods of weeks where I'm really struggling to get out of bed, and they coincide with each other.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago

Depression is also a condition that can cause this. Get a full health screening before you go fully looking into a diagnosis, but definitely keep it in mind if, physically, things turn up normal.

Also keep in mind that depression & anxiety can be comorbid with ADHD, which can often lead to frustrating misdiagnosis and being put onto medications that may not work quote right (if you choose to go that route). Hell, I've been told that "[you] don't have ADHD – it's trauma! PTSD!" As if the constant invalidatation of my condition wasn't one of the reasons in part that led to my mistreatment and development of PTSD.

I hope that you are able to get answers soon and have things improve!