this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
27 points (93.5% liked)

Asklemmy

43945 readers
642 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Im introverted and have always enjoyed my solitude. Some people have complained that I don't talk much, which is true, I don't need to talk to feel good.

After changing workplaces, I decided to be proactive and introduce myself to my new coworkers. I was friendly and did it properly: my name, smiley face and what I do, eager to help them.

Some of them are friendly, greet back when I greet, but jesus christ, others outright avoid even eye contact with me like the plague, even though I kept greeting them for at least 2 more days.

Now I've returned the favor and I ignore them, not even asking them to do anything for me because last time I did, one of them said she would take a batch of documents to a nearby department but then outright ignored it and I had to do it myself.

It's also a bit funny: 2 coworkers that the first day had small but normal conversations with me now look elsewhere when they see me... and I give them back the same treatment. Childish and petty? extremely, but I ask you: what should I do?

Introverted me says: what were you expecting? This is what people are, don't bother trying to be extroverted, see what this brought you, return to your introverted self, do your job and go home, but this might sabotage me.

I confess neither do I know how to react when people are friendly when I'm talking to a coworker they like but the moment this coworker leaves, they turn to a mute.

To me, those of you who can play this silly workplace theater so well are geniuses. I cannot fake that a boring person interests me, nor can I fake respect for a person who treats me like I described.

I'd like to read your feedback.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] Timii@biglemmowski.win 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

not even asking them to do anything for me because last time I did, one of them said she would take a batch of documents to a nearby department but then outright ignored it and I had to do it myself.

From what little we have to go on this seems to be the culprit. While workplaces may seem like a microcosm of polite society there are 'rules'. One of which is 'do your own work'. If someone offers to do something because it just happens to be convenient for them that is one thing. Appearing friendly in an attempt to manipulate others to take on your responsibilities may not be your intention but it is what 90% of people are wary of at work. Be friendly, but do not ask for help until you are good friends and play the tit-for-tat game shrewdly.