Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Looking at the pic, there is definitely hope, but time and money are probably the real problem. Eyebrow thinning and eyelashes would be helpful and only require maintenance, while makeup would make you pretty. Nothing that's masculine in this picture can't be changed with easily available beauty products. The eyebrows alone are 90% of what gives a masc vibe, and even still, your face is ambiguous at most. If you put in time and effort, you'll be more than fine.
I don't know about your clothing, but they also play a significant role. Body language, posture, gait, and facial expressions can also help or hurt. These are things anyone can adjust and come more naturally as you practice. Even people with super masculine faces or bodies can assert their gender by wearing the right things and moving the right way. It's just harder for us to learn these things than cis women who got to learn it as teens.
I know how I can look better outside of medical stuff, but time and motivation are not on my side. I have crippling executive functioning problems, and struggle to start basic affirming activities like shaving or skincare. However, once I start do them, I feel so much better and can finish doing things with less effort. It's just so hard to affirm when you have work and life to worry about.
On top of that, fashion and cosmetics cost money, even if you're frugal. Being trans makes life harder, but there isn't much we can do about it. Getting off HRT will probably just make things even harder than now. Everything that makes you unhappy with your appearance will get worse, and you won't suddenly get used to it.
Your battle right now is mental more than it is hormonal. That doesn't make it less valid or real. It's probably more difficult in many ways.