this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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Asklemmy

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If your toilet was sentient would you rather it crave your bodily waste or hate you for it? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 10 months ago by SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
87 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Personally, I think it's like people with a foot fetish. Ok gross and weird but isnt harming anyone.

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[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 50 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I guess I'd rather the toilet enjoy itself. As long as it doesn't start making little happy noises while I'm trying to poop 😰

[–] neidu2@feddit.nl 24 points 10 months ago (5 children)

I find the thought of encouragement more disturbing.

"Come on, buddy you can do it.. yeah, I see that's a big one...."
ghasp
"a REALLY big one. I can see it. Push, don't forget to breathe.. yeah, there ya go, pinch it off. Nice! You've changed your diet, haven't you? Good job!"

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 10 months ago

Oh hey, suggestions of diet changes for health might be nice, suggestions because they like corn, not nice.

I can't believe I wrote that

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I heard this in a sports announcer’s voice, with everyone in the house listening.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

All I get is Gilbert Gottfried.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Gilbert Gottfried Reads 50 Shades of Grey

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 1 points 10 months ago

Why da fuq does this play an advertisement for audible.com, then refuse to play the actual video!? I know it's open source, but I'd rather it be functional and not have to read through the sourcecode to debug and fix it if it is non-functional... :-(

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago

Well… that's definitely way, way worse.

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 months ago

I can tell you've upped your fiber intake

[–] NotJustForMe@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

As my late doctor said, a good poop can be had while running. If yer have to stop for longer than ten seconds, you ain't eating right, boy.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They did a whole scene about this in the League of Gentlemen movie!!!

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 10 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

whole scene

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It'll moan loudly

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I will probably opt to go poop in a bucket out in the yard then

[–] ezchili@iusearchlinux.fyi 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's even hornier. Sorry.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

A horny bucket? Now that's just silly...