Asklemmy

I think I get it what you mean.. you are feeling like you are watching a tv show in your perspective, like you are not the one who acts, you are just watching? One of my friemds had a similar experience, please tell me if I understand it the wrong way.

I think it’s normal to an extent however complete absence of enjoyment could also be a sign of depression as others have pointed out.

The fact that you have specific scenarios that used to elicit joy is good; try to remember those and focus on those situations next time you experience them. You may just brush it off as a pointless exercise or you may find that you’re able to relive some of those feelings.

I believe there is a lot of power in just stopping to sniff the roses as they say. Taking momentary breaks to just be in the present moment, or think about how you’re feeling.

The older you get, the more you are in your head because of all the responsibilities weighing you down.

I think learning to let go and meditation is the way to go, so we can be more in the moment and appreciate the environment around us.

You have more experiences, true, but some things can help you feel like you're experiencing them for the first time. Any experience with psychedelics?

I've gotten back better at it. First you've got to recognize the situation and the then you'll need to stop and enjoy it. As a kid you had plenty of time to enjoy feelings, but as an adult you have to take your time to do it.

On top of what everyone else said (I especially super agree with experiencing new things), I can recommend art, either experiencing it, or making it. Art is basically all about trying to capture or recapture a specific feeling, by heightening it.

Maybe the smell of roses doesn't move you much after all these years, but a well crafted poem, music, movie, or some video games (I guess Flower comes to mind for this particular example) can reignite some of that lost wonder. And if experiencing them isn't enough, you can always go after those feelings yourself, and make your own art, trying to bring back the sensations you miss the most. Heck, learning to cook an old dish a relative or friend used to make can evoke long forgotten feelings, "art" is a vague term.

I'm both getting older and suffering from really bad depression, and this sort of thing has been helping me cope with this loss of feelings.

I get exactly what you’re saying but I’m not sure I have a great answer for you. I think it’s all about dopamine. Smoking cannabis reconnects me with that childlike feeling. Also, having a kid really helped me. Seeing the world through her eyes as she experienced childhood is amazing. Before kid I felt like I couldn’t really enjoy anything like I could before without drugs. I’m not sure how much of that is depression and how much is just getting older.

Anhedonia?

I'll just mention my own experience. I struggled with depression and/or anxiety for basically my entire life from as early as I can remember and I definitely didn't have the kinds of joyful childhood experiences you describe. However now that I'm older and my anxiety is being properly treated (medication) I've definitely had more / stronger feelings of joy with simple experiences. All this is to say that I think it might be a depression thing, not a age thing.

I am lucky in the sense that I like specific things; and the feeling of liking them hasn't faded. However, the phenomenon you're likely pointing to is simply being more jaded as an adult

Everything felt wondrous to me after I got out of an abusive marriage bruised but alive. It’s not that I feel more, but the realization that I am able to feel at all amplifies the intensity of my positive feelings. Do you feel like you’re trapped in a rut at all? Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that all the best moments have already past? Sending positive vibes to you!

I had come to the same conclusion, that I could never feel again like I did when I was a kid, that adult life was just inherently drab and lacking in feeling. But meditation did help, so I wouldn't rule that out if you could work it into your routine for a while.

What kind of meditation did you try? I found the simple kind most helpful: just to sit and pay attention to breathing and whatever comes along, and don't pursue thoughts once I notice them. It helped me with what you describe. I had basically decided that life turned grey when you became an adult, and all the thrill of experience was left behind in my youth. Through meditation I discovered I could still experience like I did when I was a kid, if I could experience without immediately going off into thinking about it. But I did meditate for a while before this started emerging. I never found the guided meditations or envisioning meditations to be particularly helpful, just sitting attending to ordinary experience.

I can't speak to whether you're clinically depressed and need some other help, but it might be worth continuing with the meditation alongside whatever else you try. I had given up on antidepressants too but eventually found a kind that worked. Now I continue the meditation but also take antidepressants when things take a real downturn. I hope you find something that helps.

Not that you feel less. But when you are young the experiences are brand new and the feelings novel and so the memories are stronger. As you get older you can still have these memories of strong feelings, such as your wedding, the birth of a child, or traveling but those novel experiences are fewer and farther between as you age