I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao
Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So donβt eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.
Or, better yet, donβt even try to do this. Youβre very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.
The best thing you can eat is nothing. Take a 3 day water only fast. Maybe 4 days, start before your trip to get out all the poop ahead of time.
Steak and eggs, it's what astronauts use to not shit for days. your body absorbs most of the material rather than excreting it. your looking for anything "low residue".
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Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.
lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!
Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! π
NOSHITGANG
I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud
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I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.
I'm pretty Sure you are a Woman going on a hike for multiple days and you don't want to poop in the wild? These problems sound quite familiar xD
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Lemmy history!
That post made me so sad. Because I know I will never find out why you need this βΉοΈ
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I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:
Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.
You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.
Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?
I was here for... Whatever this is...
Just start taking Adderall. If you're anything like me, you will have to remind yourself to eat more than 500 calories a day and then you will find yourself questioning how many days it has been since you even felt the need to poop.
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Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.
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