Probably kidnap and random rich peoples dogs.
this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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Pfffโฆ you are probably just someone that scours the internet for new twists and ideas in the name of big Hollywood-Studios since those pesky SAG-AFTRA people refuse to work, huh? /s
Wouldn't it just be easier to move to Europe?
You need to be rich to emigrate
You don't have to be rich, it takes a couple thousand dollars, the problem is to not become homeless afterwards...
Isn't having a job lined up a prerequisite for immigration in most countries?
Immigration is complicated, and you are thinking only of "legal" immigration. It is extremely common for people to ignore those laws. And a job is not always required, no.
You (generic you) don't need to really emigrate to a country to receive treatment, you could go with a tourist visa or visa free and get treated, then go back to the shitty country without universal healthcare where you live.
In my home country everyone has access to healthcare because it's a human right, so by law it doesn't matter what your immigration status is, you will get care. This includes cancer treatment, for free.
So all you gotta steal is $300 for a plane ticket. That should be relatively easy, right?
Good luck getting in.
You don't need money to receive treatment in the US. But to answer the prompt, I'd just rob a bank with a note and no weapon. Immediately surrender when the police arrive and spend the next few years in prison getting 100% free healthcare
Find some black tar and start injecting to expedite my death. Why would I want to harm anybody else all because of my misfortune. At least I'll go out in nirvana.
๐ค There has to be a way for someone like that to steal the money without actually harming someone though.
If it was me, I'd go find an ATM tucked away from view of a main street and bust that bitch open in the middle of the night. Pick the lock, apply acid or dynamite, something. Book it before the cops show up or set off smoke bombs as a distraction.
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Probably talk to my friend Lee and do another "job" for him
Sad that the list of horrible circumstances necessary for such a hypothetical really needs to include 'lives in the US."
Yeah. Yeah...
Maybe car theft would make sense. The reward isnt too low and the risk isn't too high. Although I wouldn't know how to sell it. Might have to drive each car over the boarder or something. That increases risk but should still be feasible here in Europe.
Otherwise maybe setting up a crypto scam would be feasible for me. I never used Etherum but I know the technical basics of blockchains, they were part of my distributed systems class.
Iโd rob a few dispensaries. Only place I can think of to find a bunch of cash.
Collect a bunch of broken laptops, fill the hard drive with pics of dude's 69'ing and sell them for $2,000 each on Ebay as "Hunter Biden's Laptop".
While I don't care what two consenting adults do, the people obsessed with Hunter do get bent out of shape over anyone gay, so it would be entertaining to make them look through many such images looking for whatever evidence they think they will find.
Alternatively, and more likely, I'd get over my moral qualms about selling questionable tr*mp/rightwing gear to idiots.