Asklemmy

I've lost teeth climbing a tree in a stupid way, required stitches after trying to cut myself a slice of pie, and nailed myself in the groin with a ski pole while skiing

Touched a car cigarette lighter that I'd heated up myself while bored with the intent of just slipping a nail between the coils without skin contact and gave myself a new thumbprint.

Then I did that again a few years later.

Because of skateboarding

Not through actually skating, I was walking along carrying my board and tripped over, because I was carrying the board in my dominant hand I used my non-dominant one to try brace my fall, somehow fucked it up and fractured my wrist

I thought it was just strained until I tried to swim a few hours later

Got a scar on my finger from using a Stanley/craft knife to shave down a plastic Warhammer sprue into a 'spear'

Worst fight injury I ever had was breaking my orbital bone(you should've seen the other guy though! whoa)

I was drunk and playing with a knife, my friend started tossing things for me to slash out of the air. When people see the scar I tell them I got stabbed, which is technically true!