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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 months ago by PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

62 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

(page 2) 12 comments

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[–] vfreire85@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago

work on your self-confidence and self esteem. go check a psychologist.

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Flip the table. Anger. Disgust. Judgment. Indifference.

If you want to be nice you can always keep your doors open to resolution. But it makes no sense whatsoever to give away mental and emotional real estate for free to donkeys and assholes. It's simply too valuable and you should cherish it for yourself.

You might think indifference is the weakest of what I've mentioned. But being ignored is extremely painful. Aurelius wrote that this is the default goto if you don't have a witty comeback.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

I joined a men's group and started working through my trauma.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 months ago

around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

Don't focus on the ones that don't like you. Focus on the ones that do. Unless there is something constructive in the negative reviews, you can safely ignore them.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I prefer to be liked as opposed to being disliked but I take pride when certain people dislike me

[–] Hirom@beehaw.org 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

These 5% of negative reviews probably has nothing to do with you. There's always a small amount of people unhappy for random or unrelated reasons (broke up with boy/girlfriend, car broke, etc) and who would write negative reviews no matter what. It's possible they cannot dissociate the course from other things happening in their life. They just happened to be unhappy at that time, and felt like leaving a nasty review.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world -3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Are you fucking serious? Did you never get bullied in school as a kid or something? Are you that privileged? What the fuck.

[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 months ago

Yep 100% serious. I was bullied quite a bit in school so I’m not sure how you’re drawing this conclusion. Sorry you’re upset though.

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