Asklemmy

Desperation. I'd have to be fired from my job and begging for work.

Free food every day.

I find this really interesting. I’m based in the UK and in what is classed as an essential job. So during all of the COVID isolation period I was still going to work, in the same office doing the same thing. I haven’t had a period working from home for a very long time and the idea, whilst appealing in some ways just doesn’t fit how I work today.

Preferably, they pay for my relocation to an area with reliable public transportation. But I’ll also take Company car, and company pays for gas, insurance, and maintenance. They also pay for babysitters and my commute. Also, bonuses and raises on a regular basis.

They’ve deemed that it’s important enough that I take my precious time away from family to stay with in traffic and sit in an office all day, so they should pay dearly for it.

Nevertheless, it’s completely idiotic for most jobs. The logical business owner would salivate at the idea of all their employees preferring to use their own equipment and working space. That would eliminate so much overhead costs and company rent. Not to mention it has been proven that employees were as productive or even more productive when they worked at home. But our world is full of idiots who wasted a bunch of money trying to profit off land speculation and debt, so you have businesses wasting money requiring people to go back to the office . It just doesn’t make sense

What would bring me in? My commute counts as working hours. Fully pay commuting cost. My goals lessened to make up for the lower productivity in the office. Private office and private bathroom. Free healthy meals delivered. That might bring me back.

Exceptionally flexible working hours (so I don’t have to go in or leave during rush hour) along with an exceptional increase in pay and a commitment that time in office would actually be used for productive time (any meetings can be done remotely and often are done with remote members anyway).

Actually, as I think about it, the only thing that would lure me back to the office would be an open door policy related to being there, where I’d see myself there maybe 5% of the time. shrug

Nothing. Reduce my hours, pay me less, but for take wfh away or I'm done. Nothing can compete with wfh.

Better pay, time for travel calculated in work hours, better company food, better work desk.

Double my salary. Even then It'd be tough. Working from home has so many benefits. Plus my entire team is in a different state, so going into the office would be pointless.

Back to the office? In my country almost nobody left the office, even when the pandemic was at its peak lol.

A much better setup than my home one. A private office with sound dampening. Dual 4K+ monitors. A large wall mounted TV for casting training videos or collaborating. A coffee and desert cart.

1. 4 day work week
2. 6 hour work day
3. 120k min salary
4. Lunch provided
5. Home cleaning service provided though benefit plan
6. I would need an office (no cube/open concept)
7. Casual dress code

A 50% salary increase. I lose hours a week commuting, thats my life being taken away.

Not to mention getting sick because co-workers come in sick, the loudness of stupid open office spaces, douchebags who wont bathe before work...

The office sucks ass and my house is a much better environment for me working.

Why does Windows Update take weeks for you? Even on 1990’s dial-up, the typical 2-3 GB of patches would only take 5 days to download.