It was bad enough to have to get through the world of children and especially teenagers once. I have zero desire to ever watch and accompany someone else having to go through that hell.
Asklemmy
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
Having no kids. I currently have no children and do not plan to. I am satisfied with my life. My only real concerns are about who would support me when I age. Not monetarily but just in case my mind starts to slip and I need someone to help me get the help I need. I don't feel comfortable having a child or adopting with that being the sole reason.
Never considered the who would support you in advanced age argument. But I live in the US and any children I have would end up as probably the poorest generation to ever exist in this country, so not them I suppose.
So, I have a few family members getting on in age and they are worried about the same thing. In one instance, they hired a house cleaner to come on once a week, just purley my happenstance, but she is able to let us know if said family member feels "a little off base"
I have one kid and it's one of the best things so far life has dished out for me. I love him so much and he's so much fun. I know one kid is my limit though. Enjoy!
Late 40s. I wanted kids, or at least I think I wanted kids. Might have just been society telling me I wanted kids.
Regardless, kids never happened and I’m glad. My partner and I both agree this world is messed up. And honestly, I probably shouldn’t pass my messed up genes to a new generation.
I love kids, however, with the current situation of our planet and the inhabitants of it, no more. I just hope that our youngest will be able to grow up and live a full life. Shit is going downhill at an accelerated rate.
I made the choice to not have kids. I didn't want the responsibility and I didn't think I'd make a good parent. I'm in my late 40s now, and honestly - it's been pretty great. It was the right choice.
I don't have social life. I want kids. It's a fucking contradiction.
Absolutely no kids ever even if I wasn’t gay or had ability to adopt. I don’t remember my childhood positively at all, I think my parents should’ve never decided to have kids, and despite me trying hard to not be like them, I found myself making similar mistakes. I don’t understand people being so obsessed about having kids and saying stuff like “wait until you got ur own”, I’m like bitch it’s not happening ever unless it’s a nightmare I wake up all wet after with relief that it’s not real
No kids. They’re a huge, life long commitment that you need to be willing to sacrifice everything for. Your happiness, your sanity, your time, your money… everything.
And I’m not the type of person who wants kids nearly enough to do that.
Especially when people tell me that I should for reasons like having a caretaker when I’m older. I’m not attached to my parents enough to do that. Why would I expect that of anything I pop out? And what a horrible selfish reason to make a new human that is!
If the only reason I’d be having a kid is selfish reasons in the distant future that aren’t even a guarantee, then that’s not worth sacrificing myself for right now.
Nothing against other people who want to be parents, so long as they’re prepared and not doing it as some sort of life insurance or to make a clone of themselves.
Kids! I thought when I was a kid I wanted them no matter what. In my early twenties I decided I only wanted kids if I could find the right partner. Now I have one. Sometimes my partner is great, sometimes he sucks. I don't care, because my kid is great. She's a joy to be around and gives my life purpose in a way I didn't realize was possible. My whole purpose is just to enjoy reading her a story in that moment. My whole purpose is to feed her when she's hungry. My whole purpose is to look into her eyes. My whole purpose is just to enjoy the moment I'm in, and she accidentally causes me to be fully present so often. It's amazing.
That said, I would say if you're not 80% sure you want kids, don't. Figure out what would get you to 80% first. Financial stability, a good partner, a solid career field, etc.
I would probably be a mom by now if I could be, not because I want to be but due to regular happenstance, but with everything I face and everything having kids could add to that, I don't trust myself as one, with both bad genetics and a fear of imbuing a bad childhood at play.