Asklemmy

44697 readers

1690 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

How to stop "Fall in love" so easily? (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 hours ago by NONE_dc@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

(It's weird to call it "falling in love", because it's more like a childish and annoying infatuation, but anyway...)

I'm already terrible at socializing, but it's especially difficult for me to create genuine friendships with women because I can't help thinking of them as "possible future partners" (or some bullshit like that) and feel "jealous" when I see them talking to other men. It's stupid, a really stupid and annoying felling.

I know there is something in me that I need to change, but I don't know what, and I need some assistance.

I would like to feel more comfortable with my singleness and reserve my feelings for someone who can really reciprocate, while forging more non-romantic relationships with other people.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Zeusz13@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

I know this has been said a lot for questions like this, but it's still true: the answer to your problem lies in seeing a psychologist. Probably no need for psychotherapy but some counseling could help you sort these things out

[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I know it helps. I sought psychological help to treat my depression and lack of self-esteem at the time and it helped tremendously. Maybe I should look into getting that kind of help again.

[–] Badabinski@kbin.earth 2 points 2 hours ago

I know someone with an issue kinda like this. Some childhood trauma and neglect lead to her forming limerant relationships and made it difficult for her to be platonically friendly with men that she viewed as eligible. Her fix was doing evidence-based therapies like EMDR and healing her fear of being alone/unsupported/unloved. It took her a while, but she's much better at having platonic friendships with men now.