this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
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No, that's trolling. It's an ad hominem phrased to sound polite to other people but infuriating to whoever you're talking to, no matter what they said. An all-purpose no-effort nuh-uh.
David Graeber called this the triangular dynamic of bullying: it creates a moral drama in which the manner of the victim’s reaction to an act of aggression can be used as retrospective justification for the original act of aggression itself.
Like telling someone "calm down, honey." The right response is fuck off. But you have to build up to it by explaining basically this comment, to prevent the asshole making you mad from going "see, I knew you were mad."
Somebody needs a hug 🥺