compostgoblin

joined 7 months ago
[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Would you like to experiment with people using she/her pronouns?

I think so? I’ve used he/they for a while, but people tend to just go with the ‘he’, which feels less and less like me. And it reminds me that most everyone sees me as male, as little as I identify with that. I just need someone I can trust to try them out with without judgment

Would you like to get feminising hormones?

Possibly? It feels like a big commitment though, and I might need to look into having sperm preserved first, since my wife and I do want kids. The effects sound mostly like things I want, but it feels like a “point of no return“ that I don’t know if I’m ready for yet

Would you like to present feminine more often?

100%. My hair is getting pretty long, and I really like having my nails painted. I started shaving my chest, and I want to start shaving my legs and buy some women’s clothes, like skirts and tank tops. And I want to get my earlobes pierced soon to start wearing earrings (in addition to the cartilage piercings i already have). I already get pretty self conscious when I go to work just with long hair and painted nails though. It’s a more conservative field (engineering) so I feel very much like people are looking at me, or I’m the odd one out, and I get nervous about how much I’m pushing the boundaries of what people expect me to be like.

I think I’m going to keep doing more to present more feminine, especially at home, and probably have some conversations with my wife about trying out new pronouns a little.

Thank you for all the advice, I appreciate it :)

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

For most of my life I identified as "just a regular dude... unfortunately".

I felt that way for a long time (and still do sometimes). Being raised in a subculture that so heavily reinforces gender roles, it took a long time for me to understand the breadth of people’s gender experiences.

You might like to reflect some more on what this implies about your gender.

I define will, and fortunately, I have therapy this weekend. My therapist has been great about helping me work out some of my gender feelings in a positive and non-judgmental way

And thank you for recommending the sidebar! I’m usually on mobile, so I forget sidebars are a thing, I’ll check out the resources there

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 6 points 3 days ago

Sounds like a great therapist, I’m glad you found her!

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

It’s funny, I feel somewhat the opposite - I think I might prefer a female body over my current male one, but I don’t have any particular issue with having a dick

 

I’ve been questioning and curious, and I wanted to talk to some people about my experience, who know more about being trans than I do.

I am almost 30, I’m bisexual, and I was assigned male at birth. I was raised in a very Catholic household (and went to Catholic school from elementary through high school), so it wasn’t exactly an environment that was going to give me the language to understand who I was, or encouraged to explore my sexuality and gender identity.

I was always more emotional than my peers - my parents put me in wrestling and karate during elementary and middle school to “toughen me up”. Although that may have had to do with my RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) from my ADHD.

I never really enjoyed sports like wrestling or football - I ended up liking volleyball and distance running. I preferred hobbies that are more traditionally feminine, like baking and sewing. Don’t get me wrong, I also liked camping and stuff with Boy Scouts (not that camping and hiking are inherently masculine) but I definitely never felt like a super masculine as a kid.

I would get in trouble for growing my hair out as long as I was allowed to, and then some, and I got in trouble for wearing more jewelry than a Catholic school was appropriate for boys too (too many rings and necklaces). I was made fun of in middle and high school for wearing pink, or liking things that were too girly.

About 5 years ago, I started to identify as nonbinary, as I learned more about queerness and started to find the language to describe what I was feeling. When my wife came out to me as bi, I finally felt comfortable coming out as nonbinary to her. And since then, I’ve started to feel more confident expressing my gender differently, mostly in small ways, like growing my hair longer and painting my nails. I’ve still only come out as NB to a small handful of people, and day-to-day I probably present more as “eccentric guy” than anything else.

The thing that I’ve noticed, though, is that the less masculine I look, act, and present, the more I feel like myself. I feel like men’s clothing is so limiting, and I always feel out of place when I’m in a group of otherwise all guys.

I feel like If I had been born as a woman, I would prefer that to having been born male. And if I could flip a switch and instantly be a woman, I would. But I don’t experience the sort of revulsion at my genitals that I hear some trans people describe (although I do hate being so hairy).

All of that said, I don’t know what exactly it feels like to be trans, or be a woman, so I don’t know how to compare my experience to how I “should” or “shouldn’t” feel.

And obviously right now is a scary time in the US to be queer of any kind, so there’s a part of me that’s very scared about what if I am trans - what that would entail in terms of how people/my friends and family would react and treat me.

Anyway, I’m not trying to presume anything about the trans experience, and I apologize if anything I said seemed ignorant. I guess I’m just confused and looking for some insight and support, since there aren’t many people in real life that I can talk to about these things (wife and therapist aside).

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 1 points 4 days ago

Too late to stop it from happening, not too late for consequences (in theory)

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It’s been a few hours. I’m confident that no one is forgetting this as a lesson in the danger of trusting the US going fares.

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 0 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

Continued to support Democrats after they fucked him in the 2016, I’m guessing?

I don’t know, I still like him

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Are you fucking kidding me? Governments should be moving toward systems that make information easily accessible to every person in the country.

I mean, I’m not surprised, because America is The Bad Place. But they continue to find new and creative ways to disappoint and infuriate me

 

Say I’m on Mastodon, and someone posts a reply to a meme that I think is funny. I take a screenshot of their post to send to other people or post on Lemmy. Is it more polite/respectful/appropriate to censor out their name and handle (to respect their privacy) or leave it in (to give them appropriate credit for their idea)?

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I was in a mood this morning. Seasonal depression is a doozy this time of year.

I’m actually planning to do some containers on my balcony this year. I do miss having an outdoor garden, though

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Spend lots of time gardening, reading, writing, and painting. Unfortunately, it seems like I’m going to have to spend the next forty years as a wage slave before I can enjoy that life

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 week ago

Less than Google is, for now. But still bad enough for me to be switching to Tuta

[–] compostgoblin@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

I’ll definitely do that! Thanks for the recommendations

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submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/selfhosted@lemmy.world
 

I’m still a newcomer to self hosting, and I could use some guidance on how to best accomplish what I’m trying to do.

Right now, I’ve got AdGuard, Jellyfin, and Nextcloud running on a Raspberry Pi 4 with a 500 GB external hard drive, using YunoHost. Those services are all available at my free domain name provided by YunoHost.

I’d like to run all of those services on the same Pi they’re on now, but using Docker, so I have more control and access to more applications. I would also like to configure a reverse proxy so I can access them at, for example, nextcloud.mydomain.com. (YunoHost doesn’t support custom domains from Porkbun, which is the registrar I’m using.)

What would be the least painful way to go about this? I understand how Docker works conceptually, but I admittedly don’t really know how to use it in practice. Are there any resources available that would get me up to speed quickly?

Appreciate the help - thanks!

 

Technically it’s for any printer capable of printing a firearm or the components of a firearm, which is…. every printer. What a bafflingly stupid proposal. If you’re in NY, please call your reps and tell them to oppose this bill.

 
 
 
 
 
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