Sombyr

joined 9 months ago
[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

For me, the changes happened really gradually, and some changes didn't happen at all (which is normal, because it's not the same for everyone, not even cis women.) It took around 2 years before I started noticing any changes, and around 4 before I stopped noticing any more changes. It can vary a lot though.

It's also worth noting even once you've experienced all the changes, it won't feel the same every time. For instance, for me, it's only a full body experience if it's a good one. Otherwise it doesn't feel much different in nature from a guy's orgasm. It does definitely last longer usually though. Usually around 15 seconds, but it can go up to... well, actually, I've never felt the need to break out a stop watch.

There's some things that for me never changed though. For instance, it doesn't take any longer to build up, and I almost never can have multiple in a row. Although I'm still responsive to stimulation, it just doesn't go anywhere. On very rare occasions I've had consecutive ones, but it's been that way since even before I transitioned.

Also, I've seen a lot of claims that female orgasms are more intense than male orgasms. For me at least, that is absolutely not the case. They feel different, but intensity wise it's exactly the same. I do react more physically, but not because it feels better, rather just because estrogen did that to me for some reason.

I think honestly the line between "male" and "female" orgasm are a lot blurrier than people think and it's not really a useful way to think about it. Not everyone will even experience changes to their orgasms and that's not because there's something wrong, it's just because there's so much natural variance that many women just naturally experience what is often called a "male" orgasm.

I've seen a lot of trans women get really disappointed thinking something must be wrong because they haven't achieved the fabled "female orgasm." Just know that that's a very idealized version of a female orgasm that not even most cis women, in my experience, meet. It's completely normal for some things to change but not others, or even on occasion for almost nothing to change at all.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 7 points 6 months ago

I seem to have the same gene, but I've only noticed things like splenda and stevia have that nasty bitter taste. All the other sweeteners are fine. Actually, aspartame is bitter, but it's a good, coffee kind of bitter, but maybe that's just because I've gotten used to it.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My only supportive family is on my mom's side, and all of us live in complete poverty. My dad's side has money, but is incredibly religious to the point where they view any surgery on genitals at all as an affront to god. So in other words, it's just straight up not possible unfortunately.
I gotta pick one or the other, and at the moment I'm leaning toward keeping what I have because I can undo that decision, but my medicaid will not cover undoing the surgery if I choose to get it.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 6 points 7 months ago

That is kinda what I'd want if I could get it, but unfortunately, it's not covered by medicaid. Gotta choose one or the other. If I could I'd just want to have female anatomy that has the capability of functioning similarly to male anatomy. That'd be perfect.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 6 points 7 months ago (3 children)

That's definitely a factor. I dated somebody for a while who wasn't just okay with the idea of me keeping it, but was even enthusiastic about it, and for that time I was a lot more comfortable with it, but I still wanted surgery, just not as badly as I did before. I think it's not so much the "I need to get the surgery to be a real woman" though, and more "I need to get the surgery to feel complete." Like I feel like I haven't finished everything I wanted for so long to do and just deciding not to now would feel like, why was I concerned about it for so long?
But there is also an aspect of what I have just feeling wrong. I know what I'd want if it was possible, but it literally isn't physically possible. I'd want female anatomy that can grow into male functioning anatomy when needed. That's technically possible in a satisfactory way with some surgeries, but it's not something that's an option for me. I'm on medicaid, so I can only get what's covered, and that isn't. I have to choose one or the other.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I have actually tried that, and unfortunately it wasn't the solution for me. Even if I couldn't see it I knew it was there, so it didn't help. I think the only thing that could relieve that is to get the actual surgery, which would require regretting something else. The thing is I know the vast majority of the time, I'd be super, super happy with my decision if I got the surgery, but in any sexual situation I'd find myself feeling like I was missing an important part of the experience, and for me that is a very powerful feeling capable of overriding all the other happiness I gain.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Not exactly a coherent collection of a specific thing, but I like to gather older video game consoles and retro tech to hook them all up in the most interesting way possible. I've currently got an SNES, N64, GameCube, and Sega Saturn hooked up to an old decent quality CRT security monitor over s-video. I plan to get an s-video matrix to hook up all the consoles at once and switch between them easier, and I also plan to at some point add a PS2, Xbox, and Dreamcast into the mix.

I might also at some point try to find an old early 2000s or even late 90s computer and hook that up too. I don't have a lot of space, so I might have to hook it up to the TV, but as long as it can play the games from my childhood without issue, I don't care what wonky setup I need. Old games just aren't as fun on an LCD.
I do probably need to degauss the CRT though. When I first picked it up it looked fine, but I ran a metal fan a little too close to it for too long and now it's got distorted geometry on that side.

So I suppose I collect retro electronics. I don't even collect games for the consoles I own. I just bought them for the fun of hooking them up.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 16 points 8 months ago

I'll never understand women who don't want a sensitive or emotionally open man. For me, I can't stand men who aren't. When a man is open about his emotions, it makes me feel like he's going to understand better when I get emotional, which is important to me because it happens a lot (bottled up trauma and such.) It's not just something I look for in partners, but also friends.

But I may also have a bit of a different perspective due to being trans and remembering what it's like to be a guy having to bottle everything up until one day I explode in a vicious cycle. It makes me feel good to be somebody's outlet knowing that I can take a little weight off and help keep them from having to go through what I did.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 1 points 8 months ago

Probably an issue with my app, but that doesn't seem to work for me.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 28 points 8 months ago (11 children)

Trigger warning on this. Can't get the spoiler thing to work at all.

Definitely not imagining it.
Since I first joined I went from having nice conversations with strangers about the weirdest things, never having a single negative interaction, to nowadays saying I think women deserve a baseline level of respect and being told I should die giving birth to a rapists baby.
To be fair, the dude who said that did get banned from the instance I'm on for that, but it happening in the first place would have been unthinkable to me a few months ago.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 months ago

Worth noting, at least for SSI, your house (if you have one somehow,) anything inside your house or apartment, and one vehicle do not count as resources. Of course, the vehicle part is an issue because in most states, even living in subsidized housing and every other possible benefit you could have, paying for the insurance basically gives you 0 dollars to work with at the end of the month. Not to mention you can't afford repairs if anything even minor comes up.

Also, as far as working, you can make up to double your disability income plus around $50 before your disability is shut off, and it turns right back on the second you report that you've gone back under that.

In addition, if you were disabled young enough, you can open up an ABLE account that let's you save up to 100,000 dollars. Other people can also deposit into that account for you up to a certain amount and it won't count against you. I technically qualify for an ABLE account myself, but I haven't been able to successfully set one up yet.

Also, some states give SNAP benefits as cash instead of purely food EBT for SSI recipients, which makes life a lot easier because you're pretty much guaranteed the max amount.

I've been surviving by finding subsidized housing where I can easily walk everywhere (and nearby family to support me and shop for me on rare occasions where I can't walk, which is part of my disability,) cooking meals myself so I can keep them as cheap as possible so I can use the rest of my EBT cash on other things I need, and basically just trying not to have a lot of stuff that would be expensive to replace.

Although I did have a nice moment last year where they realized they weren't paying me enough and had to give me back payments. 7,000 dollars just fell in my lap over the course of the year and I started getting a bunch more money every month. Happiest I'd been in a while.

If I'm honest though, probably by virtue of living in Vermont, my life's been far from hard. Around here I randomly get letters sometimes saying they determined I qualify for a benefit I didn't even know existed, so they automatically set me up with it. I'll just randomly start getting extra money out of nowhere sometimes because of that.
Meanwhile, I have an also disabled sibling living a state over and his life's been hell, never having money for things as simple as food and getting his disability shut off because the SSA interviewer didn't want to do their job and just went "Well you don't sound disabled." So yeah, it varies.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 3 points 9 months ago

I'm still learning how myself, but something that's helped so far is repeatedly telling myself that the only way they can hurt me now is if I'm thinking about them.
It's the only weapon people have left once they're out of your life. If you keep being angry about something that's long over, you're giving them the power to keep hurting you, free of any effort on their part, and they don't deserve that luxury.

view more: next ›