and the options are sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, or water
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And diet sugar
’ll have a number 6 with extra dip. Big Smoke: I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda. Make that diet, I'm trying to watch my weight.
To be fair, the alcoholic menu us typically like this too. 95% of the menu is beer, wine, or vodka and some kind of syrup.
I feel like this joke would have landed better 5, or maybe even 3 years ago. Every even remotely fancy restaurant I go into has jumped on the mocktail bandwagon and offers plenty of options for people avoiding alcohol.
Of course they do. They sell them equally expensive without the expensive ingredients!
Even then, it's not really accurate anyway. A cocktail is a bunch of ingredients mixes together. You can usually get them without the alcohol if you ask for it (obviously this doesn't work for every drink). They list of cocktails is so large because there's a lot of ways to combine a few ingredients to make different things. They don't actually stock that many types of drinks or anything. They're made on demends, and can usually be modified if you ask.
I was just in Dublin and saw Guinness 0.0 in a bunch of places. Things are definitely shifting if that can exist in Ireland.
Some this has to do with shelf life. Beverages containing alcohol have a long shelf life. A restaurant is not going to take losses on having 50 kinds of juice or whatever on hand. Another angle to this is that a lot of the drinks on the alcoholic menu are cocktails, so just combinations of other shit they have. Finally, what adult is just drinking milk? Have some water, it is good for you.
The worst is when mocktails cost as much as cocktails. Like a non alcoholic whiskey sour will be $13, Shirley Temples are like $10
At least from my experience in NYC
What if I told you that you aren't paying for the drinks but you're renting the table/bar stool
For real, a shot of vodka doesn't justify $13 for a drink, it's the rent that does that
What's a milk drinker like you doing out here? Go home to your mother.
To be fair, how many baby cows are even coming to these restaurants??
Who fucking drinks milk when they go to a restaurant - are you 5?
Restaurants menus lacking milk as a drinking option is definitely a positive for me - I do not wish to dine alongside whatever freak chooses to drink milk with their meal.
Why judge people over their choice of beverage?
Why can't we all drink (or eat or be...) whatever we please without derogatory comments being made? What kind of a low is that?
Seriously.
you’ve never had 3am Waffle House chocolate milk?
That's chocolate milk which is amazing at any time, the post implies plain white milk
A McPoyle
There’s the trend of restaurants having “mocktails”, which is cool, but they often charge for them based on their price for alcoholic beverages. I don’t really want a special lemonade for $14.
me: i'd like a glass of milk
them: sorry that's only on the kids menu
me: you mean you can't pour me a glass of milk unless i order from a special menu? what if i wanted coffee
them: oh then we can bring you milk
me: ok then i'll order a coffee and just have the milk
them: sorry can't do that.
My friend ordered an omelette without the eggs before, and it worked. A server wouldn't sell me a double shot of Jager because it was "too much alcohol" but had no problem selling me two single shots at once.
All depends on how accommodating your server is.
Double shots are illegal to serve in a fair number of places, so I am betting that is the case.
Alcohol gives me the shits. Milk gives me the shits. I’d rather just have water.
You don't like water?
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Lol, this is especially the case when it's my turn to be the designated driver in the group 🤣
At least I'll stay hydrated! Hydrohomies for life!
Adults: Look at these tiktok kids eating tide pods!
Also adults: Waiter please pour me a glass of your finest toxin!
Ah, but it's a very old pool of toxin, cooked over rotten plant matter from a swamp and aged in an obsolete form of container, and it made them significantly poorer to order it! /s