Asklemmy

Unsure if this counts as a quote but here goes.

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best

Absolute fucking nonsense.

Not see it. But I hear this one.

"it's always in the last place you look"

No shit Sherlock. Why would I keep looking after I found it?

"We only use x% of our brain."

Simply not true as shown since years by neurology

I am surprised no one yet has posted the infuriatingly worthless expression of affectless sympathy:

thoughts and prayers

Hard men create easy times.

Easy times create soft men.

Soft men create hard times.

Hard times create hard men.

"Life's not fair." It seems that more often than not the person saying it is in a position to make the situation fair. Usually it is people in positions of power saying it and it feels more like an excuse for their inaction.

Everything happens for a reason.

"Do or do not, there is no try"

The rallying cry of the kind of person who thinks every hobby has to become a side hustle.

I don’t see it anymore after leaving the hell that is Reddit, but I saw “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes” multiple times in every thread.

The friggin "definition of insanity" quote that is usually misattributed to Einstein. From some cursory research, a lot of first appearances of the quote come from the 80s, though I saw a few different sources from Narcotics Anonymous pamphlets to mystery novels.

I don't know who has to hear this but

Anything on a decorative sign meant to hang in a house. Examples include “Live, Laugh, Love” (which has already been mentioned) or something about wine.

For me its the one that promoted me to write this, the futurama quote "you're are technically correct, the best kind of correct"

I hate how people use it over at forums, it is repeated ad nauseam, even if it doesn't make much sense. It's probably from people using it constantly that I hate the quote, and not something that has to do with the meaning.

My least favorite is

Just be yourself!

Even in grade school I knew this was hogwash. I didn't act the same in class as during recess, or in church as when at the dinner table. Exactly which me was I supposed to be? When someone asks, "What am I supposed to do?" They are really asking, "How should I behave?" And if you've never been on a date before, or this is your first job interview, then it's not obvious.

A: "So, how did the interview go?"

B: "Not so well, he threw my resume away, in front of me, and ordered me to leave."

A: "What? Why?"

B: "Well, I did just as your said, I was being myself. I walked in, gave him the ol' finger guns, then started with my best fart joke."

A: "Why the hell would you do that at an interview?"

B: "Because that routine always slays in the dorms and I was trying to be myself."

"Don't be evil." -Google

Both hate and laugh it.

Live love laugh

The good old GNU/Linux quote.

I like Stallman's ideas on free software but this whole GNU/Linux thing is an absolute waste of time and I hate how it still gets brought up.

"pull yourself up by the bootstraps" it's literally impossible

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Yeah maybe, but it also makes you stranger.

"The customer is always right" conveniently missing the second part: "...in matters of taste and style".

Also misinterpreting "customer" as an individual rather than as the aggregate of customer demand.

''what doesn't kill you, make you stronger'' it's just so overused and saturated

"live, laugh, love"

"Survival of the fittest" (when used without trying to understand its actual meaning).

"G stands for graphics, so it's gif with a hard g"

The only thing more meaningless than arguing about how to pronounce gif is using that as an argument, and yet it always gets repeated.