Asklemmy

Please seek help because I don't like seeing good people in this place. If you need help, please call 988. You're worth it.

My homies: Marcus, Seneca and Epictetus.

Nobody. I have to live in such a way that I don't reach that point... including reaching out to others well before the breaking point.

No one, because the only people in my life either wouldnt give a fuck, or would try to basically turn it into a competition ("Oh, you have X? I have X too, only worse. And also Y.").

So I internalize it and push it all down into a tight little ball in my lower abdomen, until the day comes where it becomes a cancer and consumes me.

I feel extemely lucky to have a crew of guys that I've known for 45-35yrs....school chums, lifelong friends. We don't hesitate to talk to eachother. Best feature...we aren't afraid to say "love you" upon departure, etc....I believe this is extremely rare for a bunch of hetero/CIS guys.

Who do you reach out to

Nobody

and why

Asperger's

I reach out to my husband, who is super awesome and usually can help me put my problems either into perspective or out of my mind. I'm usually good at changing my mental channel, but sometimes I struggle and I'm grateful that he knows how to help.

When I'm not at my breaking point but am having a crappy day, I reach out to my dog. She's not very cuddly and she's dumb as a box of hair. She'll sniff my face (focusing on the eyeballs, god knows why) and then turn away and cold shoulder me. But if I try to get up and walk away she'll follow me like velcro. It cheers me up in a bizarre way :)

Nobody, because I'm afraid to upset/burden anyone by making my problems theirs. It's caused issues in the past for me so I think my best bet will be finding a therapist lmfao

I am blessed to have two friendships that I have been able to maintain even through times of depression and paranoia, mostly because they are stubborn and forgiving enough to stay with me and reach out, even when my delusions of having to isolate from everyone because I am too horrible and bad to deserve friendships kick in. It's a privilege I know isn't guaranteed in life and I am so damn lucky that the mess I have comes with them.

If you are going through tough times and don't have anyone at the ready, I know it can be hard, don't give up. There's the professional stuff like therapists, emergency hotlines, self-help groups and, yes, sometimes even strangers on the internet can be enough to give you a necessary mirror to at least lessen any delusional self-hatred and hopelesness that can creep up. Reaching out can be hard and seem impossible, but it is possible, and it is worth it - you are worth it.

It's worrying how many of the answers are "nobody". Not surprising based on Lemmy's main demographic being men in their 20s-30s, but damn.

I freshly graduated secondary school and still have a tight-knit friend group that I can lean on. Even as we drift apart, I hope I can still maintain this type of support network in the future, although I'm not too optimistic.

I'm super lucky to have a couple of close friends who I know I can call on. When my dad was dying of cancer at the end of last year, they both took turns coming over so I had company as a distraction 3-4 nights a week. After he passed they even took time off from their jobs and traveled out of town to his funeral while refusing my attempts to pay for their hotel rooms. I'm eternally grateful for them and I don't know how I would've made it through that without them.

The internet. Really the only place I have if I am at that point. My family never understands and half the time I don't even think they listen to me. They don't even give platitudes or anything. Usually just a glazed over look and a shrug.

Im not even sure if I have a breaking point anymore, because I could swear if anything it's behind me already. Im already broke.

"reach out" 😂

Nobody. I just keep it to myself and keep doing what I'm doing. Nobody cares how dudes in their 30s feel unless you're paying them to care.

Suicide prevention hotlines. It helps to have a neutral voice to emphasise with me or tell me what help I need to sought out.

I yell into the void. In reality I don't have a person like that.

You op, can we all reach out to you?

My bartender. They're great listeners. Sometimes you just need to get it all out to someone that listens. They don't need to provide advice or anything.

I've really been surprised at the kind, supportive comments i see on the fed - much more that i ever saw on r/.

No one anymore. I usually go to suicide forums tbh. It kinda helps to go somewhere where people talk openly about it.

My therapist, provided I reach the breaking point at a convenient time when we have a session scheduled.

Everybody on earth should have a therapist, whether they think they need one or not

I reach out to Billy Bong Thorton and Wesley Pipes because they really help alot!

My cats, husband, close friends and then therapist. Why I cuddle with my cats during hard times should be obvious, also husband. But when it's really bad I definetly text or call my therapist and cry on her voicemail.

You guys turn to people when things get rough?

I guess when things get tough I'll turn to my older brother for support, one hug and everything is alright. But before him I was alone

Nobody. Everytime I've reached out in the past has never worked out. Haven't gone outside in about 5 years. I go to therapy, but 1 hour a month isn't enough to even scratch the surface of what I'm dealing with let alone anything new that happened between visits. I feel like a burden to my girlfriend and family (dont even have much of that left anymore.) And I'm too far gone at this point to make friends. If they won't invite me to game night over steam, why would I think they'd let me trauma dump on them or cry on their shoulder? Even typing this comment feels like a pointless cry for attention.

"We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes."

• Aldous Huxley

I guess it depends on what I'm at my breaking point about. In prior times, it would have been my spouse. Now that I'm considering leaving them, it's been my handful of close friends from school. I trust their judgement and advice, and they've always been a supportive presence despite the many stressors of the past few years. I know if things got really bad, they'd take me in temporarily or try to help however was in their means.

No one. Tired of having people turn their back or outright slapping my hands away. Even had two therapists forget about me, which was fucking fabulous when I'd just been assessed by the crisis team as high risk for suicide.

Just want someone to relax and play games with, the ask for company has never been a high bar. Easier to have a circle of friends that is empty than be continually forgotten or excluded.