Asklemmy

Probably find a good lawyer.

Buy Twitter back and ban Elmo

It's definitely a tie between buying and remodeling a house in the city I live in (probably in one of the nicer areas in town but definitely not the nicest because I don't want to deal with stuck up prick neighbors who'd think they're better than me) and just going on an art commission spree of getting a red sheet for my fursona and then getting a very high quality partial fursuit and clothes to match his style.

Not sure what "fuck you" money is, but if it can buy me a decent gaming laptop, I'd use it immediately.

A house or nice apartment.

Then I’d buy a private train to boast among the other rich people how much more climate friendly that is… pretty sure Davos has a train station, right?

Arrange my finances so that I can live an upper middle class life in a passive income. Give away the rest to charities that improve society (education, orgs that promote walkable cities etc. This would also include setting up small recurring donations to Wikipedia, Lemmy and other donation driven institutions).

I'd buy a house. Not something huge, but decently sized riverfront property.

Buy a house, start my reptile projects, throw extras at the fediverse, the fediverse succeeding is very important long-term.

Quit work and start a new hobby to spend serious time in. Not sure what that would be.

I'd try to start a racing career. Always wanted to since I was a kid but it's always been out of my reach.

Quit my job.

Buy all banks then burn them to the ground

Pay my parents retirement.

I'd buy myself a few mercenary armies and state armies as well as weapon manufacturers and just stop selling weapons and waging war. These people probably have skills as drivers or watchmakers, so Glock would start making watches and Wagner would be a chauffeur service.

I'll probably still have a division special force to take guns away from everyone in the world but police force in Democratic governments. As soon as they fulfilled their purpose, they'd have to hand in their guns to the local police.

My hypothesis is that every person with a gun is willing to part from it for the right price. And the others just have to go, I guess.

Hire a permanent live-in nanny so wife and I could sleep soundly and stress less.

That’s first, the rest I would take time and decide and tell no one except the wife

I would buy the best health insurance. Whatever the 1% are using. Super Platinum Cadillac Gold Insurance. I would get my loved ones the best medical care in the world. I could fly them private to see specialists, I could afford 5000$ a month experimental drugs, I could extend their lives and the qaulity of said life.

Pay off my mom's house and get it completely renovated, included hooking it up to the sewer line and completely redoing the foundation. I'd also add a second story with a balcony facing the direction of the ocean.

Tax fraud

Leave my job & go and see the world. Possibly by finishing off my sailing quals & buying a luxury catamaran or trimaran.

Buy me an oil rig and open a hacker space there. Pretty obvious choice no?

probably spend it on a bunch of landscaping for my parents yard to turn it into a "no lawn" (I fking hate mowing the lawn)

Disappear and become someone else.

Buy some politicians to get some positive shit done.

Dump all of it into researching how to grow tardigrades larger, until they are big enough to take down a fully grown man. Then build up an army of them and unleash them on the world.

With my tardigrade army giving me complete control over the world, I will begin enacting my ultimate goal:

Making that bitch Sarah pay for making fun of me in primary school.

"Fuck you" Sarah.

Not sure exactly how much money that constitutes, but assuming I somehow inherited a reasonably large sum of money, do mostly the same thing I am doing now.

Pay immediate cost of living expenses for myself and my partner. I don't have any expensive hobbies that I would need much more. I don't make a ton of money right now, yet it's still more than I can reasonably spend. After rent and food, like half my paycheque goes into the bank already. I am lucky to live in a country where I don't have to worry about an unexpected medical condition costing me millions.

The remaining would go towards charities/local political groups I am involved in. While not without precedence, it would be a strange look to be a stupidly wealthy socialist, and again the money would have no real use to me and would be better served elsewhere.

Fuck you

Buy a nice reasonably big house, set money aside for my kid, buy a new car, help people close to me. In this order.

pay my debts, a full medical workup, some minor dentistry, then invest wisely after getting some financial advice from a professional advisor because I don’t really know what I’m doing.

Pay off the debt of everyone in my family

Fire Fest 2

I would build myself a mansion like the Le château de Moulinsart in Tintin.