this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
307 points (85.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 43 comments
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[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 110 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not posting this was free.

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago (3 children)

For everything else, there's MasterCard

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yeah, try sliding your Mastercard into your urethra.

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] SeekPie@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

You do you)

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Using the wrong tool when a vagina can do that all day long with no effort whatsoever.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Hotel? Trivago

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 47 points 1 week ago

I sure miss 5 seconds ago when I haven't seen this post yet

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I remember when I learned what sounding is.

I fondly remember a time period before that.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

That was today for me So you all must suffer too

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

My condolences.

[–] devilish666@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Not ~~this~~ piss again

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago

Actual strawman just dropped

[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I too am a connoisseur of urinary tract infections. /s

[–] gmanlikescheese@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago
[–] RinseDrizzle@midwest.social 22 points 1 week ago

What a terrible day to have eyes...

[–] HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

aight fellas, if you want to get into sounding, do not and i repeat do not just insert random objects down your pee hole.

buy a proper sounding kit, either smooth metal or silicone rods will do, and it is often recommended to also use sterile lubricant with them. remember to sterilize those rods too.

[–] fl42v@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 week ago

Speaking of which

GNzULcwakAI2v9A

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Sounds like a marimba when you get to the bendy bit.

[–] pipows@lemmy.today 17 points 1 week ago

Sometimes I wish I have never learned this language

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 13 points 1 week ago

This ain't a shitpost. It's a pisspost.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Oh how I wish it made beautiful ~~cello~~ double bass sounds.

Instead my sounds exactly like I'm playing a soda cup with that plastic lid.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

What kind of straw? Bamboo, stainless steel, glass, silicon, sugarcane, paper, wheat, pasta, plastic, or maybe crazy straw?... I am curious.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

bamboo, maximise the splinters, ribed for his pleasure.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Don't forget that it's just as much about technique as it is about the instrument(s).

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That is a cello, it's Yo-yo Ma in the picture.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Oh, right, forgot about that dude.

I should also call my mom (unrelated to urethra music).
And yo mom (related to urethra music).

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago
[–] LNRDrone@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 week ago

No, no no no no!

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

That's painful sounding

[–] MrMobius@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

Make me remember to gift you a catheter bag for Christmas. You'll see how great it is: a straw and diaper all in one!

[–] tlekiteki@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago
[–] Gestrid@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Excuse me while I go bleach my eye holes.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Holleerrrrinnn

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Porn hub should start selling penis sound-pods. A flexible Bluetooth enabled rod that you stick in your penis to receive stimulation via musical sound waves translated into whatever waves are best received via your dick.

[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

New chess grandmaster strat just dropped

Is that where the name comes from?