are we sure this is a "leopards ate my face" and not a "I am going to challenge their worldview"?
Leopards Ate My Face
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Find someone to officiate a marriage and then there's no problem
That's not how this works. I am legally married in Japan and wanted to get it official in the US as well and.... we gave up. I would have to go through all the hoops to get her an SSN or TIN or whatever just to get it done, at least in the county I used to live in. That proved to be a second problem to me because I couldn't prove current residence there (though that hurdle could be cleared by this person assuming only he needs to prove residence).
This ignores the fact that dude has been harboring an illegal alien, among potential other crimes, and the illegal alien is there in violation of stay which makes all future visa/residency stuff harder. If I get married THEN apply for some residency status for my wife, that's possible and not the most painful thing from what I hear (green card and citizenship are whole other things), but that goes out the window when things are illegal already.