Check out the OpenWRT Table of Hardware, it has a list of firmware mod-able off the shelf WiFi routers that work with, you guessed it, OpenWRT. It's rather versatile as it's Linux based and can handle VLANs, multiple SSIDs, and of course, you can change the DNS servers.
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What I did is I bought a cheap small PC with an Intel chip (i5), some RAM and an SSD. You can find these with more than one NIC pretty easily from Amazon, and they are just normal computers: only small and quiet. Then go with a virtualization platform such as Proxmox, and to that, install opnSense as the router distribution and use the rest of the processing power to run everything else in your house in virtual machines: Home Assistant, media server, you name it... Just search Amazon with something like "router pc" and you get a long list of machines below and over 200 euros that are more than enough for your home. Computers like this one.
The great thing about opnSense is how it gets regular updates. And when you use a normal PC as your router, you run the latest FreeBSD kernel and get updates basically as long as opnSense is developed.
You probably also want a Wi-Fi. These boxes usually miss it, and even when they have a Wi-Fi card, opnSense is not really great for setting wireless networks. I just bought a few APs from Ubiquiti. They are a bit on the expensive side, but I just don't need to touch these things after setting them up and the network never fails on me. There are also much cheaper APs in the market, just get anything that fits to your budget and plug it to the router.
Pfsense is fantastic. Extremely flexible. I am contemplating switching to opensense when it's time for an upgrade (it's been running seamlessly for many years, but someday I'll need to).
Note that it's a router, not a wireless access point. For that I use a few Ubiquity APs (I forget the model).
pfSense is indeed fantastic. The best part about it is you can install it on pretty much anything, as long as you have a couple reasonably fast network interfaces and an okay-ish processor depending on the network load it will just work. Also has OpenVPN server baked in which is pretty cool
It also comes with a dyndns-client built in. Very useful for updating the address of the OpenVPN server.
If you have a pi kicking around or a docker instance of pihole you can use it to take over dhcp of the router and then set the dns servers in pihole.
That’s what I do currently on my home hub
That might be the way to do it. I'm somewhat unfamiliar with networking, what does DHCP do?
DHCP strands for dynamic host control protocol. It is a server that assigns dynamic IP addresses to devices on the network which request it.
So the pi takes over dchp and assigns itsself as a DNS server? I assume if I want to assign static IPs I have to do it through the pi from then on?
Can't use pihole because I'm running NixOS on my pi and the only way to run it is via docker container (which melts down my system, believe it's trying to emulate x86 for some reason)
Surprised to see no mention of the Edgerouter X in this thread so far.
Honestly, if you're looking for a simple, highly customizable router that comes with its own hardware, and don't mind supplying a separate access point, you really can do a lot worse than the ERX. They're small, highly affordable, use very little power, and it's all just Debian under the hood so you can do an astonishing amount with them.