this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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I'm going to explain how an Italian bidet works, I don't know if you're referring to some other kind of bidet (e.g. the pressure washers).
You do your thing, then you lightly clean yourself with paper. Don't waste too much paper, just one pass or two will suffice.
Then you get up from the toilet bowl and go on the bidet. In Italy, it's always next to the toilet bowl so you don't have to walk around like a maniac. The best way to sit on the toilet is to "ride it" as if it was a horse (so you face the water).
You open the water, maybe you wait for it to become warm (it depends on the kind of heating system you have in your home, sometimes it takes longer to come out warm). Then you get some soap (we use a specific kind of delicate liquid soap that we call "intimate soap" in Italian). You apply the soap to your private parts and you rinse using the water.
After you've finished cleaning, you dry youself using a personal towel. This is important: you don't share your bidet towel with anybody. We usually use a smaller kind of towel.
And that's how an Italian uses a bidet.
You left out the bow at the end.
would this be like, only in your own home? or would you be carrying the bidet towel around with you when in public?
You always carry both your towel and your bidet wherever you go. This is very important.
Is this the towel suggested in the hitchhikers guide?
No of course only in your home. If you're visiting someone else for some days they'll give you a bidet towel. If you're just outside well... you'll just use your toilet paper. Some people will use the bidet anyway and dry with toilet paper, but that's a bit annoying.
We don't poo in public toilets.
“Walk around like a maniac” is an amusing turn of phrase to me.
And a nice username as well
Thanks ;)
“Walk around like a maniac” is an amusing turn of phrase to me.