this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2023
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Asklemmy

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I would be here all night if I asked the Lemmy crowd every question I had, but one thing that always has stood out to me is what's on the tin. Call me one of those childfree peoples for asking it how I did (note ahead of time that I do not judge people who have kids, I just find the alternative better), but it's a topic I've always been in-tune to. It's noble if you ask me, and instinctively, I make a large mental note whenever it happens, when it's common amongst a group of people, etc. This shouldn't be seen as that unusual, it's just a good gesture and many would be expressing this up here if they have the incentive to.

That said, I noticed a deterence when it comes to "vegans" and "communists" (I put these in quotes to denote a broader category, not really to express a stance). Adoption is not something you really hear amongst conversations about the latter. They're sometimes stereotypically associated with orphanages but that's as far as things go. I would challenge people to find texts from such a nation that said something along the lines of "and then that child was adopted". It's like it doesn't happen. Meanwhile, we're "implied" (without it being clarified) that "vegan culture" is at odds with "adoption culture". And the people I ask of are unique in that there really is no avoidance otherwise, you could go to any group of people, nationwise/identitywise, and they'll have normal-to-idolizing opinions on the matter, with it being common to find clerical stories pertaining to it. I myself raise an eyebrow at this, especially with the way certain countries deal with the issue, through exportation and facilities and whatnot.

Not one to turn down an opportunity to ask/address everything in one fell swoop, I wanted to ask many of you due to experience, is there a reason or is it just not something that culturally comes to mind?

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[โ€“] Saigonauticon@voltage.vn 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sure. Both parents die, neighbors / other family / friends might take you in. They might do this formally or informally (e.g. legally adopt you, or just raise you without doing the paperwork), to give you a better life than in an orphanage. Or maybe some aunt or uncle can't have kids, but wanted to. It's not that uncommon, I've met a few people in this category.

Vietnam has had a fairly turbulent history until fairly recently (quite an understatement). I don't have many stories from those less peaceful times (my ancestors here are through marriage), but my impression is that it's the sort of situation where adoption would have had to happen pretty often.

Oh one tangential tech story : You know all those scammy blockchain "projects"? Boy, they made a lot of t-shirts in Vietnam. A lot of the leftovers made their way to orphanages (a side effect of the economics of manufacturing is you always have extra, often containing nonsense text), so it was pretty common to see orphans with Bitcoin-whatever t-shirts for a while. So at least one OK thing came out of that technology.

[โ€“] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This does clear up a lot of ideas I had. Actually, the "or just raise you without doing the paperwork" part makes it more appealing than my country/state when it comes to this. Paperwork didn't always exist here but now it's so entangled in everything that nothing happens without someone having to be involved.

[โ€“] Saigonauticon@voltage.vn 2 points 11 months ago

I don't know how hard adoption paperwork is here to be honest!

However culturally, I find we have a somewhat of an aversion to getting lawyers or filling out official forms, or waiting. I'm not sure why this is, but it might tie in to old-fashioned ideas about pride, honor, and respect. So a lot of things have 'no paperwork', and when it finally needs to be sorted out, tempers flare and you've got a blood feud on your hands.