this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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Mildly Infuriating
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I'm happy to hear that.
For anyone with a drinking problem who is hesitant to start AA:
They do not push religion on you. I thought they did, but they don't.
It doesn't work for everyone but it worked for my best friend - someone who I thought it would NEVER work for.
It can be a bit somber but it's also a social gathering. I've seen meetings, they're usually pretty upbeat
You are not a faker if you go to AA and still smoke weed. They don't promote it but a lot of people do it regardless.
I still couldn't do AA because even though it's not "religion" they still push the higher power stuff. That it's bigger than you and stuff. I never liked that because it takes the responsibility away from the person. To me, it's both. It can be a disease that you have trouble controlling while also, you have to take responsibility and learn to manage it. For me I just had to stop and avoid going to bars and stuff. But I was also a social drinker, never drank alone so staying away helped me a lot. Of course others may be different.
I asked him about the higher power stuff (he's agnostic) and the way he described it got me on board. It's one of the steps but, at least in his group, the focus was on "there are things that are simply out of your control" - in the context of guilt. Personal responsibility is the main focus.
If you're just a social drinker I don't think you'd benefit from AA anyway. It's more for people who have a serious problem, not just a bad social habit
That sounds reasonable. When I tried it they put a lot of focus on the higher power stuff, but I imagine a lot depends on what group you're in too.
Oh, I wasn't just a social drinker, I mean I only drank socially, never alone, but I could never stop. I would go out every night and drink til 6am and get belligerent. I've been sober for a long time now so I don't need help. I was just talking about my AA experience years ago.
Ahh my bad I misinterpreted.
In high school I worked for the park district as a "building attendant" (basically cleaning up after events) and I was scheduled at AA meetings a lot. In my largely Christian hometown there was DEFINITELY a strong religious angle and it made me dislike AA for years. My friend attended meetings based out of a normal city, I'm sure that made a big difference
That definitely may have been the issue too. I was in the southern US at the time in a heavily Christian town too.
Pretty sure it started as a Christian organization but they've since dropped the strong connection as it was turning a lot of people off to it. They're trying pretty hard to combat the stigma since young people are avoiding them. The average age of attendees has gone up by like a 15 years.
There are less religious AA equivalents. I like https://recoverydharma.online/
Edit: also https://www.aasecular.org/, AA but without the focus on religion
You are free to conceptualise the higher power as your subconscious, or the genome, or whatever. As to responsibility: The flipside of that is shame: If, on the precipice of being well, you get hit by "oh am I stupid I did everything wrong I ruined my life it's all my fault" you don't want responsibility. You want acceptance.
...this thought brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood Stoic. I bring this up because the serenity prayer is actually 110% Stoicism:
May you have exactly that.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
precipice of being well
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