Programmer Humor

I write Java for a paycheck, but I really hate it.

It feels like everything is layers and layers of overengineered cruft, each added to the precarious tower for something extremely minor. But every subsequent card in the house of cards makes it more precarious. "But look, I don't have to write accessors." "But look, I eliminated the need for the web.xml file." "But look, I don't have to understand SQL now." But look, the codebase depends on a shit-ton of completely opaque Automagic(tm) that you have no hope of understanding the moment something goes wrong -- which it will if you even think of changing your Java version. And since it's practically impossible to understand what's going on under-the-hood of whichever dependency is fubar'd this week, you have to resort to a mixture of trial-and-error and copy-pasting shit (that you also don't understand) from StackOverflow and praying to Cthulhu something works -- which is also trial-and-error because Java questions in particular have tons of just straight up wrong answers.

To be fair, I'm the guy on my team who people come to when they run into those sorts of "I bumped up one subminor version of Mockito to fix a bug that was preventing my unit test from working but now literally half of our unit tests won't build" or "I added the war plugin to the build.gradle and now SwaggerUI is broken." So maybe I see more than my fair share of "well shit, I guess I'll just spend the next three hours hunting down which magical combination of Jar version numbers will fix things" kind of problems. But damn. This shit didn't ever happen back when I was doing Python for a paycheck.

I don't use Java if I don't have to. If I have to use Java, I prefer to just use Servlets (mostly I do web development) and absolutely as few dependencies as I can possibly get away with. Fewer moving parts mean less that can break.

Yeah they almost fixed the need to compile and run with the exact same jdk version.

The rest still applies