If anyone can find more pixels for me i would appreciate it.
Thanks y'all.
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
310 points (88.9% liked)
Asklemmy
43940 readers
512 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
A lot of trans femmes myself included cannot see 'guys' as gender neutral no matter how hard we try and so do not like it.
That's rough. That said as a trans woman (no idea what a trans-femme is) I don't see a problem with it in the context of "you guys".
I use "dude" as a general exclamation towards my own also-trans gf sometimes even. Really y'all oughta chill on the language policing. If you pass people will treat you like the gender you look like, if you don't, they won't really, no matter how much they try, and your main issue is not passing and thus money which can fix that, not other people and their language use.
Oof. Passing is an archaic concept, just use the language for people that doesn't make them feel uncomfortable.
A trans femme is someone who tries to make themselves look more 'femme' often through taking estrogen etc, it can refer to trans women as well but also refers to those who don't completely identify or at all as a woman, see nonbinary folks for example. It's kind of a catch all term.
Who said anything bout language policing? I was merely saying for myself. I think passing is a pointless binary concept and not even all cis women 'pass'. So I'm not all that interested in passing 100%, just being happy to be me.
I have regularly called groups of females "you guys" since childhood. It's extremely neutral in a lot of the country.
Okay, but not everybody is going to be comfortable with it and so are you saying you would not change your speech for them?
Also which country?
The US. And yes, I will continue to use the phrase "you guys" because it's a phrase that means "you people". I can't anticipate every illogical thing that will offend people. If someone called me out on it in person I would try not to use the phrase to address them specifically but I would also think they were being very silly.
It always confuses me when people say 'offend' people, because usually it is not offense they feel etc.
Well, that's not a very fair way of treating/thinking of people, some people are going to be hurt or upset by certain things and it's better to understand that we all have emotions and they are not pointless just because you see no value in them i.e. 'illogical'. It's better to work together and find ways of communicating that aren't genuinely hurtful ioo.
People who claim "guys" is gender neutral would most often only count men when asked the question "How many guys did you sleep with in your life?"
Until I find a single person who immediately thinks of people of any gender at that question, I will not fall for the internalized misogyny of "'guys' is gender neutral" meme. (Same with "dudes" and all the other ones I've seen over the years. I've even seen someone say "bro" is gender neutral.)