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Do lesbians have a concept of Top and Bottom? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 weeks ago by stoicmaverick@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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It's been a long ol time since I've known any lesbians well enough to ask such things, but I followed my brain down a weird line of inquiry, and got to wondering about the current state of the art for the gay gals. I guess I had always assumed it was similar to the dynamics of a gay guy relationship, but then I realized that since men have both an input and an output, they can choose, but it's mechanically a bit different for cis women. Is there any relationship between that, and the slightly more masculine versus feminine flavors? Asking for a friend, who is me. I want to know. Thanks.

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[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Cool. God I love the nomenclature so much. I think I'm just jealous, because we don't really have any fun terminology over here in Straight Vanilla Land. Explain Pillow Princess immediately.

Also, while I have you: can you put into words the appeal of a strap-on in a lesbian relationship/encounter? I'm all for it, but It just seems like more work to achieve what you could using your hands, and neither party is usually into dicks anyway. Is it a Dom thing? Better cardio workout?

[–] macgyver@federation.red 10 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Straight Pillow Princesses exist lol

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 weeks ago

first time seing a Galaxy Quest gif. 10/10

[–] Xyre@lemmus.org 8 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I've always heard them referred to as starfish

[–] ChexMax@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the difference is that starfish just lie there, spread out, not really participating, and a pillow princess participates with words and moans, and their hands are roaming, and they're I think usually good receivers they just don't get on top and take a turn at the work part. They do motivate their partner to continue pleasing them though.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Sounds like everyone I know at work.

[–] macgyver@federation.red 5 points 4 weeks ago

That’s fair, but I learned the term from a bi girl so makes sense

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah it comes from not having a default script to follow. A pillow princess is a woman, usually femme, who exclusively fills the receptive role in sex with women.

As the old saying goes: it’s not penises we aren’t attracted to but the dicks they tend to be attached to. Less hostly said though, it’s that the sensation feels good, and it’s completely unrelated to men. In fact I usually forget that straight people don’t tend to see them as unrelated to men as we often do.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

The concept of the dildo makes perfect sense. I even buy the premise that a cock shaped fake cock would feel good given the original design specs of Mk.1 Human Vagangus. It's just that thrusting from the hips is hard work, and while it's a fantastic butt and ab workout, if i could get the same pleasure from a hand mounted penis, I would be constantly dehydrated. Is it more of an emotional or connection thing than a pragmatic choice?