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Do lesbians have a concept of Top and Bottom? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 weeks ago by stoicmaverick@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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It's been a long ol time since I've known any lesbians well enough to ask such things, but I followed my brain down a weird line of inquiry, and got to wondering about the current state of the art for the gay gals. I guess I had always assumed it was similar to the dynamics of a gay guy relationship, but then I realized that since men have both an input and an output, they can choose, but it's mechanically a bit different for cis women. Is there any relationship between that, and the slightly more masculine versus feminine flavors? Asking for a friend, who is me. I want to know. Thanks.

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[–] Vibi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

You'll find that in queer culture, there's not just top/bottom but a wide spectrum to define or describe preferences; I'm sure this all also applies to the BDSM world as well. There's a variety of tops and bottoms and preferences like Bambi lesbians who don't want sexual dynamics beyond cuddling and kissing.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Ya, but why is everyone jumping to BDSM? That's not what I asked. I've never heard the term before, but I feel like "Bambi lesbian" is kinda reinventing the wheel for the sake of a cute name. Isn't that just a romantic asexual with a gay modifier?

[–] psycotica0@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the reason people are jumping to BDSM community terms is because BDSM people fucking love terms. They've got taxonomy for days, and they live to whip it out, so to speak.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

It’s also because like half the time a woman refers to herself as topping a woman that’s the context

[–] Repelle@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

Bambi is an old term, older than me. It predates descriptions like homoromantic asexual, so not reinventing the wheel at all

[–] juliebean@lemm.ee 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

it kind of is, as far as i can tell, or at least it's adjacent, though the term actually predates modern asexual nomenclature, and the split-attraction model, which didn't really take off until the internet did. 'bambi lesbian' has merely had a resurgence in recent years because it sounds cute as hell.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It also seems to be additional evidence that Rule 34 predates the internet.

[–] juliebean@lemm.ee 1 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

i don't see the relation to rule 34

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Just the idea of sexualizing nonsexual things for no reason and/or it's funny.

[–] juliebean@lemm.ee 1 points 4 weeks ago

All right, then. Keep your secrets.