this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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I used to drink heavily daily. Turns out it had more to do with anxiety/stress/depression than biology. I used to be afraid to be sober in a night. Now it's not even on my mind and my tolerance has dropped to nil. Two light beers on friday hits me like a sixer of 8% used to, and i can enjoy it instead of it just being an escape.
You make it sound easy (no disrespect on my part, I'm sure it wasn't easy at all).
But what worked for you?
Again no disrespect, feel free to dm me if you want.
Don't take my experience as a generality. It was not meant as such. As far as anxiety and stress: financial stability, moving to a new country, and therapy did it. I'm extremely priveleged to be able to have done those things.
But if i could have realized back when that i really needed therapy i could have faired a lot better. Societal concepts around masculinity and "manhood" played a big role too. You can't deal with your emotions if you can't interact with them. Which is what drove me to drink. I wouldn't need to deal with emotions if they had an off switch. I needed to remove a lot of the sources of pain before i could handle leaving the switch on even for a little bit.
It took two years since changing my situation before i was able to get a hold on my drinking.
For lots of people including myself bilogy plays a big role in alcoholism. I think for me, combating that is hard enough but manageable and easier the linger you maintain good habits. But for others that might not be the case and abstinence might make more sense. No shame in that.
In any case, try to find a therapist if you can afford it, and don't settle. Find someone who challenges you but you click well with. For lack of that find some volunteer or community org and dive in 100%. Any non-drinking social activity that gets you out of the house. (D&D, hiking trail work, food not bombs, etc...)
Yeah, sorry, my post came off much more confrontational than I wanted. Not my intention.
But yeah, I know I have to do therapy. Thankfully I'm in a country that it's at least one somewhat covered. As you said, I just need to find the right one (tried one a while ago and couldn't open up to her).
We definitely have some different reasons for drinking, but I think it all comes down to what you're saying. You need to find something that works for you.
Thank you very much for your reply, I sincerely mean it. I've sort of been trying to taper off (slowly) and think I'm ready to reach out to someone (a therapist or psychologist).
Your post definitely helped with that. Thank you.
Wow, I'm honored. I sincerely wish you the best in finding the right fit as well as getting to where you want to be with it!
I am one of the rare people who managed to taper from actual addiction to social drinking. For me it was because I got fat, and then got serious about diet and exercise and then got in shape, and then mostly quit drinking.