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[Silly Thought Exercise] What over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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EDIT: Thanks so much everyone. Great answers. This has been fun. Keep it going as long as you want!

DISCLAIMER: Silly Thought Exercise: NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OF REPLACING BIDEN. I personally do not think replacing Biden is a good idea at this stage in the election. I think that's more dangerous than keeping him, sadly, but he's who we've got. I'm just looking for shitposty thoughts on this question, please and thank you.

What-over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why?

For an example, my choice would be based on the idea that the only thing that makes a bully like Trump wilt is a bigger bully. Secondly, US citizens love trash talking and sports and absolutely will vote for someone who is already famous, they certainly love their celebrities. Finally, what better sport for trash talk than basketball?

In that, my choice would be basketball legend Larry Bird. (he's famously apolitical, so it's hard to know if he would actually be politically aligned against Trump.)

...but, the thing is, Larry Bird is a masterclass trash talker.

And that is really what throws Trump off and throws him into obscene tantrums where his composure is lost and he comes off like a whining loser: when he's been taken down a peg by someone else. Nothing sticks deeper in his craw. I don't think he could handle Larry Bird's level of shit-talk, Bird is like god-tier.

I can imagine Bird calling Trump out and saying he can smell his shit-filled diaper from across the auditorium, obviously Bird would describe more colorfully than I. The thing is, I can also see that absolutely throwing Trump into hysterics.

Also, at 67 Bird's a fucking spring chicken compared to Biden or Trump.

So, I'm hoping for answers that are a bit silly, like this. Larry Bird is obviously not actually a good choice for this. I just like chuckling at the idea, because real life has gotten so absurd I need to hide in even deeper absurdity.

What's your absurd Biden replacement? Please, I think we could use some laughs.

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[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (6 children)

By the standards of the American people, the candidate should be one of those blow up car dealership streamer guys and a Bluetooth speaker playing audio of hero monologues from 80's "step dad bait" action movies.

The presidency is not one person, it's an entire administration and general philosophy. We're fed a lie that these debates always matter, they matter when candidates are unknown and then have a forum to stand out as leaders and educate voters about a vision for the country. That's NOT the case here, the candidates are wholly known entities and these fucking debates absolutely do not matter.

The people in this country, in their immediate reaction to this debate, demonstrate that they just fundamentally lack the focus, empathv and frankly basic intelligence to process the substance of this or any debate. On average, we respond solely to voice pitch, tonality, body language and facial expressions, like a still developing toddler... Or a dog.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

On average, we respond solely to voice pitch, tonality, body language and facial expressions

I mean, to be fair this is a human thing that is well known. It's been known since Nixon looked like hell next to young JFK, the first ever televised debate. Nixon boned it because he was sweaty and looked like shit.

It's been an issue of the television era ever since we began to focus on images instead of words. It's also an issue with public speeches.

I mean for fucks sake, JFK went to Berlin and gave a speech where he said "Ich bin ein Berliner" while a Berliner is a fucking donut and despite that confusion Germans went fucking wild cheering for him.

"What did he say? I am a donut? Whatever, he's awesome woooooooooooooo!"

Acting like it's just American citizens is fucking dumb. It's humans. It's an issue with video media, period.

[–] Arbic@feddit.de 3 points 4 months ago

Berliner also means the people living in Berlin

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