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[Silly Thought Exercise] What over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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EDIT: Thanks so much everyone. Great answers. This has been fun. Keep it going as long as you want!

DISCLAIMER: Silly Thought Exercise: NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OF REPLACING BIDEN. I personally do not think replacing Biden is a good idea at this stage in the election. I think that's more dangerous than keeping him, sadly, but he's who we've got. I'm just looking for shitposty thoughts on this question, please and thank you.

What-over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why?

For an example, my choice would be based on the idea that the only thing that makes a bully like Trump wilt is a bigger bully. Secondly, US citizens love trash talking and sports and absolutely will vote for someone who is already famous, they certainly love their celebrities. Finally, what better sport for trash talk than basketball?

In that, my choice would be basketball legend Larry Bird. (he's famously apolitical, so it's hard to know if he would actually be politically aligned against Trump.)

...but, the thing is, Larry Bird is a masterclass trash talker.

And that is really what throws Trump off and throws him into obscene tantrums where his composure is lost and he comes off like a whining loser: when he's been taken down a peg by someone else. Nothing sticks deeper in his craw. I don't think he could handle Larry Bird's level of shit-talk, Bird is like god-tier.

I can imagine Bird calling Trump out and saying he can smell his shit-filled diaper from across the auditorium, obviously Bird would describe more colorfully than I. The thing is, I can also see that absolutely throwing Trump into hysterics.

Also, at 67 Bird's a fucking spring chicken compared to Biden or Trump.

So, I'm hoping for answers that are a bit silly, like this. Larry Bird is obviously not actually a good choice for this. I just like chuckling at the idea, because real life has gotten so absurd I need to hide in even deeper absurdity.

What's your absurd Biden replacement? Please, I think we could use some laughs.

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[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 37 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Bill Burr or Jon Stewart, either one of them would absolutely crush Trump on a debate stage and people would line up to watch it.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago

I can almost hear Bill going "ohhh, shut the fuck up, ya fat ahrange piece a' shit!"

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

While I think Jon Stewart would make a better president than either of those jackasses, that would be such a cruel thing to do to such a good person.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 19 points 4 months ago

I don't know that I want Jon Stewart as a POTUS, I just want him one on one with Trump and Trump isn't allowed to leave or call off the debate. Jon Stewart is what the Founding Fathers meant the press to be. They wanted the press to be a 4th check on government outside the separation of powers and not a mouthpieces of the government.